05 May Why Good Parenting is Tough!
Why Good Parenting is Tough!
By Wade Goodwin
I have been asked many questions over the years from friends and clients alike about parenting. They ask “Wade is this how we should do it or what am I doing wrong?” Usually these questions I’m happy to hear because they are doing the most important thing……………..ASKING! I wish that parenting skills, behavioral strategies, or even how to parent a difficult child would be a high school requirement. So many of us come into the parenting world with just the knowledge of how to parent by the example our parents provided (Good or Bad).
Sometimes we are undereducated and underprepared to handle what our kids throw at us. And this is the most important intersection in parenting. When our children are difficult…….How do we react? How do we keep composure? What is the best solution to diminish the behavior? and many more questions arise. This is when parenting gets tough! It is much easier to provide our child what they want or tell them they are grounded, only to let it pass 2 hours later. It is very hard to respond the same way every time, especially when you have to respond multiple times in one day. Also, during your response you have to maintain a calm voice tone (not so easy after the 3rd time you have asked your child to not do something).
Being a good parent isn’t difficult in concept, but hard to put into practice. The main point I would like to make in this article is to remain consistent. Consistency is extremely difficult for parents. What does consistency mean? It means doing the same thing, the same way, and every time. For example, if you tell your child to stop something or you will put them in timeout. When they do it again, they go to time out! Sounds simple right? Well this is one of the largest struggles families are dealing with when they come to see me.
So how do we remain consistent? Follow through on your statements for first. When you state something…… do it! Put in the effort now and your kids will learn to trust and believe you when you make your statements. If you can achieve consistency then everything else will follow. Sure there are a plenty more areas that are involved in good parenting, but we will tackle those another day. Good parenting requires maximum effort without a lot of positive feedback from your kids. But if we put it the hard/thankless work now, it will pays us back tenfold when our children become productive respectful adults.
Thanks for reading,
Wade Goodwin, LIMHP
Wade Goodwin Counseling Services, LLC